|yeah... totally agree.|
July 30 2001 at 6:54 AM
Response to Those allergic to AAAs
|Women in general don't like dating men who's only obsession with you is some sort of a fetish. I think most of us might play around with it for a while, if we're into being the object of worship, but we're not going to stay with a man who treats us as some form of sexual fantasy and doesn't seem interested in us as people.|
And I think it's worse for Asian-American women, because like you said Johnny, the fetish has been pigeonhold into this desire for submissive little oriental flowers, and if you say you're into Asian women, whether you are into s&m or not, that woman is going to this "he likes little geisha he can slap around." and that's gonna be that.
I think it probably comes most from having to deal with it more. The longer you're in an enviroment where you're daily having to deal with people who have a certain stereotype about you, the more annoyed you sort of get with it. And I still think it is sort of a stereotype, though I don't think the double-standard where it's perfectly allright for an asian person or a black person to have a white fetish is terribly agreeable either.
It's not just Asian women either, I guess I should say. I had a friend who was an H cup, and whenever a man came up to her she instantly assumed he was interested in her for her tits and nothing else. So she would always be fairly hostile and I guess it's no wonder she's now happily dating women. But she had to live with catcalls, men trying to sneak gropes on subways, and men trying to 'lose' things in her cleavage on an almost daily basis for ten years.
And I mean, I never appreciate being the 'white girl' at Japanese parties, where I am an accessory and it's obvious, and the friend escorting me will introduce me, then will talk with his friends for ten minutes in Japanese about me without translating any bit of what people are saying. I'm pretty apt to get downright bitchy when people do things like that to me, and after the first couple of times I was always wary about what sort of invitations I accepted to go to with Japanese friends I barely knew, because 75% of the time I would be the accessory.
She really might just be offended with the idea because of what she's had to deal with previously on the issue. If she's really that cold and angry about it after you tell her, you should point out she's trying to judge you on a stereotype and ask her how it feels. And if she's fine with judging you based on a sitcom stereotype, she's obviously only good for a fuck, not a serious commitment.