My point got distorted by my having phrased it poorly. It's all about choices and societal integration. A "real man" integrates himself into society, community, family -- he doesn't live selfishly or mindlessly and reflexivly rebel against societal norms, especially those that are justifiable or demonstrable beneficial to society.
Doesn't mean a little nookie on the side makes Oscar a bad person. Not at all. He is, in fact, a perfect piece of evidence for what I am talking about. He keeps his affairs secret for a REASON. And ultimately, he DID get married, and NOT because he desperate and needed the "play". He got married, I believe, because he loves his wife of course, but also because society demands a man step up the plate and take on more of a role in society to be a man. Perhaps this is a Japanese idea, unfasionable in the west. But as Eli said before, fasions aren't good because they're "popular".