This proves it!
August 23 2000 at 8:45 AM
Kawama 


Response to For all of you, esp No Name....Read this!!

Your story proves beyond any doubt that behind every playboy's smirk and attitude there is a real, moving story telling how he got that way in the first place. Thanks for posting that, I really enjoyed it and found it rather poignant.

The only point I'd take issue with is that it's a bit misleading, I think, to suggest to "No Name" that this friendgirl of his will absolutely come to love him, or that he should even expend energy toward that end. Since neither of us knows him or has ever met the two of them, I can't say for sure. As No Name lamented and as I agreed, unrequieted love totally blows. It can drive sound people mad.

The best advice he can get at this point is to give the chick time. I will say it again, women are nuts. They don't know what they want, and they don't want what they should. They're whimsical one minute, and dead-set on something the next. She may very well come to realize you're what she needs. But then again, maybe she won't.

I know No Name is probably tired of my advice, which hasn't been all that good given the outcome, but if I were him and if he had it to do over again, I'd have had more of a sense of humor in general...how should I say? Well, I tried to go here once before, but No Name insisted it wasn't his style (this may be the problem.) "Confessions" are heavy and scary, depending on the girl. Humor and flirting are indirect, but are often more suited to probing someone's interest. To wit: when you were invited to sleep in the same bed as marumaru-chan, my reaction would have been to make a suggestive joke to probe her feelings, i.e., "Are you sure? I mean, what if I grab your butt or start feeling you up in the middle of a dream?" Then you shut up and let her respond. Maybe not the smoothest thing in the world, but it would have worked. If that thought would have made her uncomfortable, she might have said, "sokka..." with a disturbed look on her face. If she was into you, maybe she'd chirp "kamahen...!" ( if she's kansai ). Someone's reaction to a flirty question can tell a lot. The point is you gotta push the envelope ever so slightly, intentionally, probing to see where things are before you lay a heavy "zutto shiriai tte kanji" load on her. It may be "romantic" but I can see how that might scare te bejeezuz out of a girl who only wants a casual boyfriend.

Oh well. This has been a fun thread. Hope to hear from No Name again. My condolences on your peach mariko...live and learn, eh?

Kawama
 
   
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