April 3 2001 at 6:34 PM

Response to The Stalker: Final Part

Hello, is this Kris Dunlop? Kris spelled with a K?
How do you do. My name is Steven. I work as a translator for the Sapporo City Police Department. Part time, you know. I'm actually a JET.
Anyhow, I need to talk to you about something. No, not Kaori this time. It's about a friend of yours, an internist down in Oita who goes by the name of Oscar. I'm sure you are familiar with him. Well, I don't want to be a barer of bad news but he has done quite a lot of bad things I'm afraid...He's broken the shower...deported out of the country actually...

Sorry, I'm meandering.

Well, this Oscar fellow has asked me to relay to you this following story.

He was dating this drop dead gorgeous Okinawan beauty one time. And during one of many expensive dinners he bought for her in an altimately unsuccessful attempt to romance her, she told him about a stalker.

Her younger sister, who was just as comely a girl if not more so, went to the apartment of a friend with a group of other girls. A minute after they arrived, the girl suddenly said,
"Oh! We forgot to buy that thing at Lawson's!"
"What thing?" they asked.
"That thing! You know! We've got to go buy it!"
"Why don't you go? We'll wait here."
"No! No! We've all got to go!"
She practically kicked everyone out of the room.
When they were all out in the hallway, she locked the door and called the police on her cellular phone.
She had caught a glimpse of a man with an axe hiding under the bed.

When the police arrived, they found the man and dragged him away in cuffs. He was obviously loony. When asked what he intended to do with the axe, he said "If she did not notice me, I would have killed her."

This is a true story, Kris, compared to which you got off rather easily. Lucky thing you were never actually axed.

Oh, by the way, this Oscar fellow wanted me to assure you that "Oscar is not Steven". He wouldn't be able to find your phone number anyway. Besides, he doesn't have time for this sort of thing. He doesn't get enough sleep as it is.


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