Over on the Japanese board....
July 29 2001 at 5:47 PM

....there is this girl called Kazue whose posts are rather illuminating. She is exchanging e-mail and phone calls with some guy overseas and is not really sure of herself. She clearly is love sick and spends a lot of time mulling over the implications of this or that remark the guy makes. The fact that she doesn't understand the subtle nuances of the English language isn't helping. Her questions are always on how to interpret her guy's remarks. "What does he mean when he says he wants to eat me? How serious is this remark?" "Then he says he wants to be friends. Is he backtracking?""He asks me if I am good at sex and kissing. When I was too embarassed to answer, he said I was secretive and got angry." It would help both sides if she herself knew what she wanted from the relationship, but she doesn't. "I want him to know my feelings for him, but I don't want him to think I am easy." When I pressed her on whether she wanted commitment or to keep an escape route open, she gave me a long confused answer saying that she doesn't know what she really wants other than that she wants to make a good thing last. In the end she said, "I guess I am scared of it all and want to retain an escape option." She is in love though, and her struggle to "understand" the guy continues. "When I asked 'Why do you ask all these ecchi questions?' he said 'How come you don't answer them?'" My guess is the guy is an AAA looking for a shag, but hell, I may be wrong. She wants love, he wants sex. That much I can tell. He may, in fact, also want love, but who knows.

Reading her posts will give you an insight into the mind of an insecure girl who wants love - and probablly sex too - but doesn't want to be suckered by a philanderer. From the single minded ecchi perspective of a horny guy, this girl is a prude and a tease. But for her, it is a tormenting ordeal. I'd venture to guess that the guy has been so direct in his pursuit that he set off all her alarm bells that she is being courted by a philanderer, but the poor girl is so in love that she is looking in vain for an excuse to jump in spite of it. So she is hanging in the air, caught between going against her instincts and going against her heart.

A wise guy once said, if a girl is a tease, a guy made her one. We've all had experience with girls who will postpone sex forever saying that she is "not ready" only to sleep with another guy on the first date. I've been on both sides of such a situation, and I think that wise guy was right. If Kazue's gaijin guy had not pressed all those fire alarms, she might have hopped on a plane and into his bed long ago. (My apologies if she is reading this, but you cannot deny the possibilities.) This is something to remember when we date someone and cannot get her interested in sex.

Also, we have to remember that no girl is ever just "looking for sex". Almost none, anyway. Everything must be rationalized in terms of love. If you screw that up, you're not gonna get any.


 Copyright 2003 Network54. All rights reserved.   Terms of Use   Privacy Statement