Somebody Slap Me
May 6 2002 at 6:01 PM
Big Ben 

I fucked up big time at the weekend.

After getting pissed up at the pub watching the arsenal beat chelsea to win the FA cup I got a call from my ex wanting to chat.

A bit of background on my ex she's a complete nutter, when we split she started stalking me, attacked me with a tv remote control (cutting my head open leaving me needing stiches), tried to kill herself and worst of all for the readers of this forum shes WHITE and even worse for that ric shes a bit of a porker.

She's been trying to get back with me since we split 10 months ago but sensibly I've steered well clear........until Sat.

I don't what the fuck I was thinking, ok I wasn't thinking due to the 6 pints of beer but I decided to meet up with her.

When I meet her I realised she doesn't do anything for me anymore but still I proceed to knob her anyway, once up the gary glitter for good measure. After I had done the deed my senses started to return (maybe kicked back into action by the stench of shit floating around the bedroom) and I left ASAP but not before the ex started crying and telling me how she still loves me.

Just as she seemed to be coming to terms with the fact that it was over between us I had to go and stir it all up again.

But the experience has definitely increased my AAA feelings. I don't ever want to shag a overweight honky again!

Hopefully my current gf doesn't find out.

As I said before please somebody slap me

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