actually been wondering about this for a while...
July 30 2001 at 6:40 AM

Response to Those allergic to AAAs

Many of the Asian American women that I have come across have been very conscious of non-Asian males pursuing them romantically. I don't think this is purely aimed at Caucasian males, since I myself am not white and often feel I have to demonstrate I'm not an "Asian fetishist".

When I first started dating my ex-girlfriend, who was Japanese, (not Japanese American) the first thing her female British Japanse friend told her when she heard about me was "Beware of Asian lovers." My ex had prior to this only mentioned to her friend that I was a really cool guy, but the second it came out off- handedly that I wasn't Japanese (asian) then her friend was instantly suspicious. The only reason why I know this is because the ex later asked me what my "Asian" dating history, just to prove to her friend (and maybe herself) that I didn't have a pattern of seeking out exotic geisha girls. Come to think of my ex has said she is somewhat wary of non Asian guys she meets abroad who speak Japanese.

Though I think the reason why the attacks are aimed specifically at white guys is because the racial dynamic between Asian women and white males may be a different than that of other minority groups. First of all there ARE Asian women (much to my chagrin) who say they pretty much date white guys only. So some of the skepticism towards dating white guys may be a sort of "political" of response to this. I.e. dating white guys = selling out your own race (or wanting to assimilate into American society at the expense of your own culture) = not being proud of who you are/(or more extreme)self hatred... Can't say for sure how much of this logic is really at work, or to what extent it is conscious, but seems to be an underlying theme time and time again whenever I get into discussions w/Asian American females on the topic interracial dating. I mean, go to just about any major Asian American socially oriented site and the debate about asian women and white males is beaten to death.

Another reason why the attacks are aimed at white guys is because, at least in my part of the country (midwest USA), seeing Asian women with white guys is VERY commonplace (statisically, I believe Asian women marry outside of there "race" more than any other group and the overwhelming majority of these marriages are to white guys.) On the other hand an Asian women/non Asian/non White guy couple is EXTREMELY rare. Not that they don't exist (as I can attest to firsthand), but in my experience many Asian women I have met don't really consider non Asian/non white men an option romantically. Therefore it is white guys who pose the real "threat" or "competiton" (depending on the perspective) for Asian women.

I have often wondered if this "Beware of Asian lovers" mentality was primarily an American thing, with racial consciousness operating the way it does or if its pretty much the same everywhere. For me most of the relevance any of this has is in being able to approach and get to know Asian females I haven't met. After that most of the people (regardless of their race) who I tend to connect with usually have an "outside of the box" mentality in general, that would not prevent them from being intimate with another person for purely racial reasons.


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