My Situation
August 23 2000 at 7:55 PM
James_D 



We had just finished making love. Laying in bed together, holding her in my arms with her head on my chest, it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever known. It wasn't just sex, it was making love. We were comfortable together, something that can only be born from having deep feelings for each other. The only problem to all this was that her husband and children were sleeping next door.

This is the situation I've got myself into and its been controlling my thoughts for quite some time. I had known she was married with children when we first met but when love comes into things, you don't really notice all the other details. Yeah I agree with that old saying, love makes you blind, when it happens you'll know its true. Sure I'd had relationships before so these weren't the weird feelings of a first relationship and I'm not the type of guy that goes out looking for one-night stands. I wasn't with her just for the night and to say goodbye come dawn, I was with her because I cared (care) about her.

When I had argued with past girlfriends I was quite content to stay away and wait for them to apologise but with Rumi (Fake name time) it was very different. We'd argue but five minuets later we'd be holding each other and coming to an agreement. She'd get so worked up if I even looked at another girl and I any decisions I made we for the both of us, not just myself. I'd get angry when she was with her husband but then forget about it when she'd go through a lot of trouble just to spend some time alone with me. She was different, she was special, it was real this time.

I should give you some history. Rumi and I had been writing to each other for about a year and a half, the usual pen pal stuff like talking about different lifestyles etc. She'd always send me a lot of expensive gifts but in all honesty a simple letter would make me just as happy. Then one day she was acting a little weird (by now we were talking on the phone on a regular basis) and in the end confessed that she had feelings for me. She knew that I was planning to go to Japan and had even arranged for me to stay with her family for 2 weeks, taking a huge effort to convince them to trust a gaijin to live with them. By now her husband had already demanded that she cut all contact with me but she went against him and even arranged some activities so that we would have time alone together.

When I arrived she was there waiting for me. I was worried that things would be difficult and that all the talk in the recent months was nothing more but I'm happy to say that our relationship was taken to a physical level with success. Maybe part of the attraction was the excitement, stealing a quick kiss while her husband turned his back and the fact that she was a 28-year-old Japanese housewife in a relationship with a 20-year-old gaijin. I don't know what to think but at the moment I'm at a crossroads.

Should I leave her? We're both crazy about each other (even though its gone back to being a long distance relationship) but at the same time she's got children and I'd feel terrible for ruining a family. Who's feelings should I put first, mine or theirs? Even if she's the one, how far should I go before too much damage is caused?

James_D
 
   
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