August 22 2000 at 9:33 PM
|No name |
Response to Gambare ya!!
Erm, I guess...I mean, I guess I should be dissapointed, but, she didn`t realy say no, so...
All I can say is, I feel relieved that I at least told her. Her reaction reafirmed my feelings for her as a human being, but, it was definately not what I had hoped for. It was also the lamest Kokuhaku in the history of mankind.
Anyway, apparently she was unaware that I was interested in her at all. She says she`s nibui when it comes to things like this. (Some of you are proably thinking she`s just nibui, but I`m telling you, she`s not!) Why she was massaging me and rolling in my lap I dunno, I guess she`s the touchy feely type...
I want to cry, but, at the same time, I feel happy, because I was able to tell her how I feel, and she`s still willing to talk to me and everything. I`m looking at her right now, and I think we can carry on after this. I know Kawama said the relationship will probably turn strange after this, but, at this moment, it feels good. Or as good as something like this can feel.
It`s around 5 am right now, and my friend told me I could call him at 7. I don`t know if I`ll be able to sleep, but my friend told me I could use her cell phone to call him.
You all probably think I`m a wimp or something for freeting this much over a girl, but I really felt, and do feel that we have something special. She does too, but, she said because she wasn`t thinking about me in that way, she doesn`t know how to answer yet. She said we can talk about this anytime, though. Looking over this, it may seem like rhetoric, "She`s just handing you a line of B.S.", but, the conversation we had was realy touching. I told her everthing I`ve written about her, that I think she`s beautiful and everthing, and I think it`ll help us be closer in some way.
Well, I`m tired as fuck. You can all laugh at me now, and mock my ridiculous devotion to this girl. Ka-ta-fucking-o-mo-i. But somehow I feel like it`ll all be all right...