a little story for Simon...
August 8 2000 at 2:26 PM
Bastard Boy 

ok ok everyone I knew simon noreika in japan. for a while anyways.

and who am i?? i too am an exchange student, was there last year (1999) i would like to say, it's quite easy to have many relationships with hot little japanese girls and never get laid once -- i find it depends quite a lot on your circle and circumstance. i personally was involved in a lot of "alternatives" (meaning... well you know you funny guys!) but i never had the carnal pleasure of... well the carnal pleasure of a japanese girl -- until just recently, 6 months after my return to my native australia and it FUCKIN rocks! but i digress

(hey simon i don't think you should be tellin' cherry stories by the way... hahaha)

anyways i thought you all might like to hear a little story about simon.

i actually met simon (henceforth known as bozo or any derivative thereof) in ishikawa-ken at a camp. we ended up spending a week together trying to score, occasional drinking and playing strip janken (you jus' gotta try it)

anyways, both simon and i came to the attention of a little hottie who was desperate for a gaijin guy and would settle for either of us. for lack of privacy purposes, i shall call her by her real name: miyuki. (i am a journalism student after all.) so bozo and i decide the only fair thing to do is to janken for her, much to the disgust of our more upright counterparts. at the time i was actaully didn't think she was so hot and i was hoping to lose, which i did. the moment i lost though, i realised my mistake. she was pretty damn good. dammit!

so here's bozo with this hot little chick after him, and he spends all this time with her chatting and swapping spit etc. unfortunately for him he is palmed off with that perennial favourite of japanese girls -- seiri. haha. poor bastard (being catholic and all he was hard up for it and all) but no...

regrettably, my endeavours that week were less than impressive. i managed a bit of nookie with this half hungarian/japanese chick who was good looking but a flop in the sack and frigid as. (brief advice: if it's hungarian, RUN!! never look back!! it's for your own good)

so me and the other horny, unsuccessful guys decided that bozo had it too easy and must pay. so i got my dictaphone, and then we walked out to the distant corridor where bozo and miss miyuki were rabu-rabu-ing. we said hi then went back. (know where this is going?)

ok let me just explain about the situation. bozo has mentioned his strict program -- if a tape of him and miyuki being etchi ever got to his teacher's ears he would be on a plane to oz faster than he could prematurely ejaculate. the trap is set...

stay tuned for part two, coming to a theatre near you!
 
   
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