We [subliminally] report, you decide...
May 2 2001 at 5:05 PM

Japan Times, April 2, 2001

Missing Dutchman turns up in Chiba

A Dutch salesman who went missing after failing to meet up with an official from a company in Chiba Prefecture on his arrival at Narita airport has shown up at the company after almost a month of wandering, the Dutch Embassy in Tokyo said Wednesday.

Kees Van der Werff, a 26-year-old auto parts importer [and Young Dude], left the Netherlands on April 4 and arrived at Narita airport in the prefecture the following day. At the airport, however, he failed to meet up with an official from Keiyo Auto Trading Inc. who was there to pick him up, according to Yasuo Sasaki, an official of the firm. [translation: he gave old Sasaki-kun the slip!]

The company is an auto parts exporter based in Yotsukaido, Chiba. The Dutch man [A race queen otaki because of the free calendars he gets every year from Keiyo, K.K.], who did not have the company's telephone number or address [because he threw it away], then took a taxi to a train station in Chiba, planning to find the company himself [along with a little j-booty].

However, Werff, apparently suffering from memory loss [apparently, indeed! It's impossible to prove he's lying!] related to a traffic accident he was involved in before leaving for Japan, [A most whimsical malady...] then started wandering around the prefecture [like a goddamn horned-up Michael Caradine, I suppose], eating only at McDonalds outlets. After weeks of walking around, Werff, who speaks no Japanese, on Tuesday finally saw Keiyo Auto's logo on a truck, and hitched a lift to the company. [translation: he knew the jig was up]

Werff's parents reported their son's disappearance to the foreign ministry in the Netherlands, which relayed a search request to the embassy in Tokyo.

So...this guy just hoboed all over Chiba, from April 4th to May 2nd, unkempt, unshowered, unshaven, illiterate, sufferng from memory loss...for the better part of a month? I don't buy it. I think a better explanation is that he was YD'ing until the cash ran out.


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